When the movie was over and I was still soaking in the visionary splendor I turned over to my 11 yr. old and asked her if she liked it. "Oh, sure mom, it was good."
Good? What do you mean GOOD? It was amazing! But then an idea hit me... "Mia, do you know what this story is about?"
She shrugged. "I don't know."
Typical 11 yr old. I mean, didn't we just watch HOW the 11 yr. old brain works?
"This movie is about understanding joy. To truly understand it you have to feel sadness in some form."
She smiled as if she understood what I meant . . . but she doesn't. And I tried as I could to explain how the movie made me feel, understanding the importance of memories and imagination.
As I was spilling out my own thoughts my beautiful 8 yr. old said to me, "Well, mom, I understand the movie. I'm a really smart girl."
"Of course you are, but you don't know what it's like to be 9."
Me, on the other hand, knows exactly what it's like to be 9 or 12 or 16 or 21. And every heartbreak and disappointment and emotional meltdown that comes from those years. That's one of the beautiful things about growing older, the trials that make us and define us and have molded us into who we are.
The Science of Thought
Disney Pixar took this gift of memory and conceptually engineered it into a tangible thing - a functioning machine. Seeing this visualized on screen opened up my own mysteries of collective thought. I felt like I was back in my college psych class learning about the different theories of psychosis. Believing and applying these psychological concepts paints a picture for us, so we don't have to wrap out brains around the deep hidden meaning of something that doesn't physically exist. The "Train of Thought", room of "Abstract Thought" and the "Subconscious" (where the scary clown lived) are just excellent representations of theory. But seeing it with my eyes connected the dots and made a picture for me to follow and understand.
My 11 yr. old came home and immediately started researching (she is a smarty pants) psychological theories on feelings and emotion, because she kept asking about feelings that were not represented there. We talked about different theories and I told her that not one is wrong, but should study and understand all of them, because each has something to offer. Disney Pixar did the best storytelling with five, that's good writing sense and character arc. For Disney Pixar to tackle such an out-of-the-box topic of feelings and behavior in children wrapped up in a beautifully animated movie is ground breaking.
The message behind INSIDE OUT was not just "It's okay to be sad" or "Look for the positive in bad situations". What I connected to was "You have to feel SADNESS to UNDERSTAND JOY." This is a concept that several youngster do not know yet, because they haven't lived long enough to understand what a gift hindsight really is. Those are our Core Memories, the inner structure of who we are and how we got here.
Everyone has trials. Everyone goes through them. No one misses out on the things that test our strength or increase our knowledge. We all have a foundation in which we built on, becoming stronger with every trial that comes.
Getting personal now, this movie has made me reflect on my own core memory strength building - my own way that I learned to understand JOY.
Infertility is the hardest trial I have faced. It was a daily battle with myself. When the only thing you wanted in life was outright denied you. When others were overly blessed with children, I sat and watched and cried to myself and wondered - how is that fair?
We went through a cycle of Trying Not Trying, because every time we went through another infertility treatment I had to mentally prepare myself because of the emotional damage it caused, and every month thinking I was pregnant, absolutely - this is the one, this time it worked - to complete devastation that it didn't, I'm broken, I'm stupid for convincing myself that I was. This went on for six years.
Do I look on those years as a waste? No. Where they hard? Absolutely. Would I trade that experience? Not a chance! Many trials that define us are things that we wouldn't give up. We EARNED that badge. We earned that REWARD!
The Gift of Hindsight
This was a blessing not a curse. I could say the time prepared us, got through schooling, bought a home together, but that's not what I learned. I learned the VALUE of life, my OWN life, and a feeling of JOY that I couldn't understand until I looked at that little thing I created.
This is where the deep underlying message may get missed by the kids - they just haven't lived long enough to appreciate the blessings that come with trails. But what Pixar illustrated to theses kids is that trials will come and your feelings will learn how to deal with them. That is SO POWERFUL for them to understand. There is no easy fix when it comes to such core building problems, but the pain felt will add another brick to their foundation. You are stronger than you think you are. You can do hard things.
I wanted to thank Disney Pixar. Thank you for this beautiful example of how we function. It was pure magic imagining with you. And thank you for the insightful look at ourselves from the INSIDE OUT!