Reviewers - An Author's BFF

         One of my favorite fans - Daniela

Whenever you meet authors at conferences or conventions, what is one thing we always say, besides the heart-felt THANK YOU? I think it goes something like this:

"I hope you love it. And here's my card and information, so you can follow what I'm doing. If you can, write a review. I'd love to know what you think."

I like to take time and thank those who invest in me as an author. I couldn't be more sincere in my appreciation for choosing my series over the sea of other authors - and I mean every word. As crazy as this sounds, I didn't start in this business to sell books, but to create art and find readers and keep them coming back. However, selling is the inevitability, or authors will cease to exist. Books are art, a creative expression and collaboration, but they are also a business, and artists like myself are losing.

There is a price with selling, and not just the cost of the book. I've said many times that authors are the worst at selling their books. Unless they have a knock-out elevator pitch, they frankly know too much about the story. Where should we start? What would grab their attention? What part would they like most? I think they'd like all the parts. And like Tommy Boy, we inevitably, kill the sale.

So, when I have someone interested, and I know they will absolutely love it, and YES, they bought a book - it's a celebration. I have a new best friend, a fan, and they are so precious to me.

Many of my readers I meet at cons or author events, where I'm present to sign their books and talk with the readers one-on-one. Many are teens and aspiring writers. I love that interaction. I'd never trade it.

But, here is the problem that I have, it doesn't translate to sales on Amazon.

Amazon is a juggernaut, driving sales of our products and controlling a lot of what we can do as authors. The truth is we have to play the Amazon game in order to show PROOF we are a validated author. The main way on Amazon to prove our validity is through reviews. If someone buys my book on Amazon, an email will be generated and asks for a customer review. If you buy an ebook, it's an easy click to review and you're done.

So, as much as I love meeting and talking with readers, it doesn't turn my rating on Amazon.

Amazon is so big that a small fish like me is not going to matter that much to them. I am in the invisible bottom-feeding ocean, along with the other creative creatures that flounder, making their own way to survive. I've been swimming in the ratings around hundreds of thousands for a while, until I learned a few secrets. There is a magic number of reviews, if you didn't know, that needs to be met in order for Amazon to pay attention to you. Once you hit that number Amazon is like, "Hey, this might make us money. Let's pair it with this and see if we can get more hits?" Do you get those emails or bottom scrolls that show you this? It's a game of numbers. As an author, I have zero control over this. It's completely in reviewers' hands.

Goodreads, owned by Amazon, has become a good friend. Readers love networking with other readers and authors- it's a symbiotic relationship existing in an internet realm all about books. Several of my readers are a part of this world as well and celebrate their thoughts in this cyber-community. But, I'm having the same kind of breakdown with my readers, not because of the cultivation, but because of the age - several of my readers are not on Goodreads or Amazon, because, candidly, they are not old enough.

Isn't that a funny conundrum?

There are other ways to break the Amazon code, but several I don't have control over. Sell a lot in one day, Amazon pays attention. Kindle-Unlimited is an amazing tool if you have control of your books. Setting up a FREE book through them could spike your rating to INFINITY, but being with a small press, I don't have that freedom or control either. There are so many circumstantial variations to this game, what works for some, doesn't always work for others. Nothing is going to work the same for everyone, so please don't hurry and run out and sign up for these programs thinking you'll be an overnight success. But what I am coming to understand is my limitations with control when it comes to Amazon - you have to play or you drown.

So, I've come up with a plan...

As a reward for finishing the hardest book I've ever written, my third and concluding novel to my series, EVERSTAR, I thought about rewarding myself. I wanted an art piece, something I could frame and display in my home, a reminder of this staggering accomplishment. I contacted Khai Vinh of Ghost Illustrations.com and commissioned a painting of my world. What he came up with is beyond stunning. He drew for me Southwick, the southern most point and the capital in my world of Parbraven. He captured it at the most pivotal point in the series, simply put - at the end. The artwork is full of secrets only a fan would notice and I decided that this couldn't be just for me, this needs to be shared.

And this is where all of you come in.

I'm giving a print of this beautiful painting exclusively to those who place a review on Amazon or Goodreads. It seriously is something I'm so proud of and special to me. To share it with you makes me warm inside. I had a parent post for her son, who loved my books, but didn't have an amazon account, so it's still possible if you want your kids to have some wall art in their room. 

Click here: WRITE A REVIEW

This link will take you to my page where you can fill out your name, email, and where you posted. I'll follow up and send you one of these posters FREE! I'll even sign it if you like. I'm looking for honest reviews, of course. Fives stars are wonderful, but I know that my book is not everyone's taste. Readers needs to know if this book is for them. This is my THANK YOU for taking your time and sharing your thoughts on my art.

Authors need you. Regardless of where you bought the book, reviews are IMPORTANT. They are an essential part of a delicate author ecosystem, like algae to coral reef, a sustainable resource that can keep us creating, producing, and gifted back to you. The only way we survive in such a huge ocean is with a little help from our friends - you, our readers.

Kingdom City Revolt - Discussions with author Ben Ireland

Smarmy Aussie Author Ben Ireland

AUTHORS speak the same language, the complex language of creation. I love talking with authors who speak this language, especially those new within my circle. I can’t say Ben Ireland is new, since we are both in the Fantasy anthology MOMENTS IN MILLENNIA, but his friendship is new. He moved to my state and very close to my city, and he received a quick education about my working and writing relationships within the community. I’ve liked his work as an author, and it’s fun to put the narrative voice to a face.

MEET BEN IRELAND – Author of the KINGDOM CITY SERIES with the newest release REVOLT available January 31^st. Don't let the last name fool you, he's a native of Australia, (WHOOO!) which automatically makes him charming like Hugh Jackman, growing up with dingoes and didgeridoos and listening to Men At Work. He delves in the Urban Fantasy realm - imagine a mash-up including Mistborn, Dresden Files, and the Fifth Element—solid, action-packed, complexity. AND has one of the coolest maps I’ve ever seen in a series. (Yes, map snob - right here!) Check him out here: http://www.benirelandbooks.com/

Map of Awesomeness

Let's get to know a little about Ben, shall we?

Do people think you're so cool and fascinating because you're Australian? I know I do.

Strangers often ask me to say things like ‘Throw a shrimp on the Barbie.’  If you ever hear me say that, you know I like you. A lot.

Talk to me about your KINGDOM CITY series and about this newest book REVOLT.

Kingdom City: Revolt is part two of the Kingdom City series. Without meaning to, it’s sort of ended up like Star Wars—meaning I started telling the story from the middle. Think of the Kingdom City: R books (Resurrection, Revolt, and for now, Retribution) as the main arc. To fully flesh out the world of Kingdom City, I wrote a lot about how it came to be, and the inevitable fallout of the R arc. Those scribblings have become the outlines to the prequels and follow up novel.

Revolt follows Paul and his fellow police officers dealing with the aftermath of the events in book one. Half of the city has been sealed off by Representative Brian Shuman, and he’s systematically imprisoning the population in order to subject them to excruciating cyberization operations. Paul is torn between protecting the people fighting for their lives, or trying to save his family.

Where did you get your idea for Kingdom City?

I knew I wanted to write something and I wanted it to be cool. I thought, ‘what’s cool? Epic swords. Epic swords are cool.’ One thing lead to another, and now I have a complex dystopian series that covers almost 1000 years. Sorry, that was a bit spoilery.

And I love your covers. They have a very graphic novel appeal. Who did your art work?
Luke Spooner of Carrion House
http://carrionhouse.com/

Have you always wanted to be a writer?

Not in so many words. I’ve always had the compulsion to be creative and it’s come out in a lot of forms over the years. I enjoy writing most of all because reading is what really got me through my tumultuous teenage years. I hope that my stories can help some kid like me escape whatever he’s dealing with for a little while. To help him know that there is someone out there that gets what he’s going through.

Look! There we are together

What started your journey in writing? 

I’ve always loved books and escaping into them. Kingdom City is what started me writing more than ten years ago. I came up with the idea and wrote a movie script. When I was done I looked at my wife and said ‘what the hell do I do with this?’ she replied, ‘turn it into a book.’ She’s regretted that ever since.

Who helped inspire your path? Any books? Authors? People?

Early on, I loved The Hobbit—it was the first big-kid book I read twice (One Fish, Two Fish,Red Fish, Blue Fish was the first little-kid book I read more than once). I read a lot of Azimov growing up, too. Just prior to my writing really taking off, I fell in love with Harry Potter. JK’s world is so colorful and engaging it’s hard to not fall in love. Today I’m an avid fan of Harry Dresden. The engrossing characters and deep, beautiful world that Butcher has created is something I’m constantly trying to emulate.

What makes you happiest in life?

Kisses, hugs, my kids, my wife, popcorn, chocolate milkshakes. Not in that order.

Ben is an outstanding guy and a fantastic writer. It has been very fun getting to know him better, a breath of fresh air in my dull writing existence. One of my goals in life is to have a convincing Australian accent. Knowing someone with one is nearly as good.

Check out Kingdom City Series: Resurrection and Revolt published by Xchyler Publishing.

Follow Ben on his International Blog Tour and enter the Rafflecopter for a really cool art from Spooner himself.

http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/63a91ade25/

Saturday, 01-30 -

Where the Words Take You

Sunday, 01-31

Perpetual Chaos of a Wandering Mind

Monday, 02-01

Ben Ireland Books

Tuesday, 02-02 
JD SPero, Author

Wednesday, 02-03

Slithers of Thought

Creativity from Chaos

Thursday, 02-04

Are You Afraid of the Dark?

Semi Short Chic

Friday, 02-05

Songs of Mann

Omega W

Saturday, 02-06

The Cult of Me

Book Reviews and Giveaways

Shadows of Angels - a conversation with author L.G. Rollins

Excerpt: Shadows of Angels

"Stay calm, her father’s words echoed in her head. When you find yourself in danger, above all, stay calm. Aerbrin took a deep, steady breath and leaned down, reaching for her bow. one of the Forest Dwellers charged. It collided with her and knocked her to the floor. Raising a knotted fist, he bashed her head.Sparks exploded across her vision. She tried to raise an arm, tried to call out. Her body wouldn’t respond. The Forest Dwellers grunted again. The creature above her raised its fist again. She looked up. This was the end, she knew. When these monsters attacked, they killed everything. Animals, plants, and particularly humans. No one survived.Closing her eyes, Aerbrin forced her body to relax. This time, there was no pain."

I met Laura (L.G. Rollins) at several author and writer events, the most recent in September at a writer's retreat where I was doing a workshop. I knew immediately that she was my kind of person - fantasy writing book lover, who dreamed in worlds with dragons, fairies, and folklore. I was chuffed to bits when I heard about her book release. I get so excited when writing friends join me in the publishing world.

Shadows of Angels, published by Cedar Fort, is right up my reading alley.

After the forest dwellers destroy her home and kill her father, Aerbrin sets off on a journey to find the trith about her people, her kingdom, and the mysterious Zaad stone that contains a power she never imagined. Magic and mystery join forces in this intriguing fantasy world. Full of shifting alliances and twists you won't see coming, it's a can't miss read. 

I jumped at the chance to talk with Laura about her journey into publishing...

cjt: So, Laura, have you always wanted to be a writer?  
lgr: Yes. I started by writing quirky stories and sappy poems when I was only seven. I wrote a bit during High School, but then decided to 'grow-up' and do something 'real' when I got to college. After becoming a mom, I needed a creative outlet to stop me from going insane, and writing just came naturally. At first it was just a hobby, something I loved doing. But, it wouldn't stay small. Writing fills my life with a passion that I would be hollow without.
 
cjt: What started your journey in writing?
lgr: My parents were going through some old boxes back when I was very young, and we found a story my dad had written when he was in elementary school. It was several pages, all stapled together, with his hand-writing and hand-drawn pictures of a boy and his dog, named "Bow-wow". Seeing his book made me think, "I could do this. I could write a story".

cjt: Who helped inspire your path? Any books? Authors? People? lgr: Yes. Yes. And Yes. Many books, many authors, and many people. As I said, my dad was my first inspiration. He's a natural story-teller and always told me that I could become anything I wanted to—even an author. If I tried to list all the book and authors that inspired me, I'd miss a bunch, or put you to sleep. There are just so many. Truth be told, every story I have ever read/seen/heard has impacted my thoughts and changed how I think, how I see others, how I weave tales.

cjt: I find inspiration hits in random daily occurrences. What inspires you daily?
lgr: Other stories. I love stories. I'm a total story-junkie. Doesn't matter if it's a novel, movie, or TV show. I love stories and how they take the disorganized matter of reality and mold it into something completely fictional—and yet, in creating the fiction we better see the real.

cjt: And last question, what makes you happiest in life? lgr: My family, particularly my husband (aka. Superman). My relationship with my Savior. And, yes, writing. Writing certainly makes me very happy. After a good day of writing, doesn't much matter what else happens during the day, I feel on top-of-the-world happy.

Congratulations Laura on the release of your book. I'm so delighted. And if you are interested in learning more about Laura, check out her website at: lgrollins.com

The Other Side of the Door - My Epic Journey from Writing to Publishing

In preparation for the SLC "Compel, Polish, Pitch, and Sign" Writer's Conference on Nov. 13-15, I've been reflecting on my own journey into publishing. For those who are attending the conference, just plug your ears :)

Becoming published is a mystery to many writers. Even when I started getting serious about publishing, I had NO CLUE how to get started. Google search can get you places of course, but in many cases, it's the wrong place. Networking with other writers can also help - people who have actually published.

But it's never the same, each author has to find their own way to publishing, their on path.

So, imagine a door, whatever kind of door you like. See my door? It's fanciful and unique and extremely interesting. All I ever wanted, in this entire world, was to see what lay beyond this door.

Here's the problem - there's no path. And there are stickers and briars and thorns of all kinds here and there. Some people find a good path and only get a few scratches, some get lost at the side of the house peering in the frosted glass, and some, like me, got scratched and bruised and bled a little before they got to the door.

I think this is the more typical answer you will find among those who are published. I really feel like I earned my passage to what's beyond the door.

Bruised from Queries

 

My first attempt to get published was through querying agents, and was a pretty miserable failure. I made some huge errors. I am a Young Adult Fantasy author and my manuscript was 170k words.

So, let's look at the mistakes I made:

• I queried Young Adult agents. 
• I had never written queries before.
• I didn't understand the difference between synopsis and summary
• I had no publishing credits, no awards, no articles, nothing. 
• I had a big word count.

So, I'll quickly breakdown some things for you. In a fantasy genre, a manuscript with 170k might be acceptable for an epic journey, but I was querying the wrong people. I queried YA, where they are looking for 50-100k tops. If they see a 170k word count, all they see is Edit! Edit! Edit! I'm not going to waste my time with this author who obviously doesn't understand how to write for YA.

Also, research how to do a proper query. A candid - "Hey, I'm a writer, and I got this super cool story with fairies and dragons, and I think you'll really like it," is going to get a quick DELETE. During my failure years I joined a local writers chapter and attended a class about writing queries. Boy, what a difference that made. I think the worst person to sell a book is the author. We know too much of the story, what do you focus on? The query class helped me narrow what publishers and agents are looking for. A unique hook, some angle - however slanted, that gets you in the door.

And the meat of it, I needed some kind of proof I was worth time and money. I had nothing. So, I entered a few small writing contests. I ended up getting an Honorable Mention in a state wide competition and a First Place in my local chapter. This greatly helped my confidence and proved my worth as a writer. When you received multiple rejections you can start to doubt your abilities. Don't ever doubt your talent!

So, research your agents, enter some competitions, and take time to do a proper query.

The Scratches Came From Releasing my Book Too Soon 

After feeling hopeless, feeling no agent would ever pick me up, I looked into Self-Publishing. My dad is a self-published author, granted he writes books on process improvement - very different from me. And at that time (2010 - so long ago) self-publishing was a scary endeavor. But, as a favor to my dad, I looked into it.

Createspace makes everything so easy. They have templates, ISBNs, cover images, formats, pricing guidelines... geez, I was overwhelmed at how much I had to do. I edited down my manuscript to 140k, formatted it, had my sister design my cover, had beta readers test it and write reviews, I swear, I put soooo much work into it and what I came up with was, what I thought at the time, had to be a work of art.

Yet, this went nowhere. I mean, NOWHERE! The book was still too big to make money. The cover was pretty, but crafty, I couldn't get it into book stores and I had no idea how to market it. As an ebook is flopped in format I knew no other authors. In many ways I felt like a bigger failure.

A good friend and very avid reader bought it and read it. She liked it, but offered me some advice. "I think you released it too soon." But, I had a finished product! What did she mean "too soon"?

But she was right. I was in such a hurry to get my book out, that I didn't stop to think if it was ready. Would it be marketable? Would it find readership? If I'm building a brand, would this help me or hurt me? And I STILL didn't know what was beyond the door.

Self-publishing may work for some, but not for me. You need a lot of confidence in your talents in order to be self-published. I didn't have that. I wanted someone, a professional editor in the business, to tell me what was wrong with my story. I knew there was something, but couldn't see it. So, I yanked it.

(Side note: I found a copy on Amazon for $800. Fools. All previous copies should be burned.)

Signing Made Me Bleed . . . A Lot

What? What do you mean? It's the dream, right?
This is absolutely true, and I think several authors would agree with what I'm about to tell you - editing IS the key to the door. 

So, I shelved my novel and went on to write other things, other projects. I did NaNoWriMo and had some great success there. Summer 2012 I came back to the idea of maybe trying to find a publisher. I had written the sequel and loved it and regained hope in the writing world. This time I took a risk and sent it directly to some publishers, knowing I would be in the slush pile. I re-edited it down to 135k, a slight improvement. 

I received one rejection before I found my publisher. Xchyler Publishing was the first to acquire my entire manuscript. The acquisition editor, a fine girl named Lissa (who later became my content editor) fell in love with my story and absolutely insisted they have it. I was nervous. I mean, was this the right place for my story? But they were the first to read it. If others read it, maybe they would react the same way. The deciding factor was something that made me think, and something also, that I appreciate to this day - They didn't want to lose the integrity of the story. That was so important to me. I was afraid bigger presses would make me change the story into something that it wasn't, make me add the swearing and the sex that I tried so hard to keep out of it. The whole team wanted this story, my story, to succeed, so I signed with them, and have never regretted it. 

Here is where I bled.

Editing was an eye-opening experience. I had a main content editor, a line editor, a proof-reader, and then everything had to go through the Editor-in-chief. They did this to refine the story at various levels. It really is magic. In content, they decided to hack a large portion because it slowed the pace (they were right); I had too many POVs and needed to narrow it down to four - so I had to rewrite a lot of the book to accommodate this (and it was a great idea); they asked that I write more chapters from a specific POV of a main character, who was super mysterious, and explore what happens with him to layer the story (wow, okay); and they then asked me to do a writing exercise about this said character, where he grew up and how he got the magic in the first place, something that would NOT appear in the book, but for me to understand my character better (you want me to do what?).

This was a mountain of work with a pretty intense deadline. I tried hard to keep up with the intensity. I even took a two week LOA from my real job to finish it. I worried about the cover design and stuck with my gut about changing it to a talisman, which turned out beautiful and I love. But, with everything, it was very hard - like ulcer-inducing hard.

Then three weeks before my book release, I received notification that the company was changing hands. I nearly died. The change was definitely for the better, but at the time, after so much hard work and sweat and blood, I didn't know anything about its future. Even at the time of the release, because of the changing in tax documents and everything that I don't understand, it was slow coming out. But it did and it was beautiful.

It had been out for a month or so when I thought I would enter it into the League of Utah Writers Novel award that would be announced at their annual conference. I thought, well, it took an Honorable Mention a few years ago here, maybe it might go somewhere. Obviously, I didn't get my hopes up, because I didn't even attend the awards banquet. When I arrived at the Writer's Conference the next day a friend from my chapter ran up to me and said "You won!" my response, "I won what?" "You won Novel of the Year!"

... and the winner is Vivatera! Diamond award for Outstanding Novel of the Year! Top prize! I'm kinda freaking out right now. Eeeeh!

A photo posted by Candace Johnson Thomas (@candacejthomas) on Sep 14, 2013 at 9:31am PDT

WHHHHHHAAATTT???? Turns out my novel took TOP PRIZE, the Diamond Award. It won over all the other novels that year, my little fledgling was the best in the whole state!

This helped me open the door.

What I found on the Other Side of the Door

 

I'm going to tell you, just in case you thought I would keep it a secret from you. It's been a slow-creaky door to open. But I'm most-definitely on the other side.

There is a room full of people, other authors, packed full - all looking for another door.

Some are desperate, some are casually looking, but there are some that I have found who are willing to help one another find the mysterious hidden door. That's what I'm most impressed by, the cooperative effort made by others to help me succeed. Seems backwards, right? I mean, aren't they also your competition? Actually . . . No, they aren't, they are my peers. I've found better success through a healthy community of authors. It could have been a nasty bludgeoning of jealous rage at the success of one who finds the door, but instead, its the opposite - it's a celebration!

However you make it to the door will be the right way for you.
It is an epic journey - remember that, and should be one that you are proud of, one that made you bleed a little. Don't be afraid to bleed.
There should be sweat - and heavens above, there better be tears.
Wear your scars with pride.
Don't let the briar patch get you stuck.
And when you get there, push hard on the door.
And never forget - inspire others to find the key.

I'm just behind the door waiting for you. I have a place reserved at my table and I want to see you there.

Welcome. (first drink's on me)

Rebel Yell - Local Authors Unite at Salt Lake Comic Con

Being an Author is Hard

Local author Johnny Worthen and me

Am I saying that it's not sunshine and kittens after you get published? That's right - well, there is still some sunshine and some cuddly kittens, but most of the time it's really hard work, especially in such a talented community we find in Utah.

It doesn't matter what type of author you are: Indie, Small Press, Large Press, whatever means you choose - the life of an author is tough stuff.

In Utah, there is a melding pot of authors - resembling something like a Petri dish as we're surrounded by mountains, isolated from the breathing world, suffocating under the inversion. It's a wonderful world to be a part of, as we feed each other ideas, care about our struggles, cheering successes.

It can also be a very difficult place to be. As much as we need each other, we are each others' competition, selling to the same small population. There can be jealousy at times, cheering for others, while your own rejection letter still sits in you Inbox.

But there is still understanding

As our community of authors grows, so has our support system. If I've learned anything over the past few years after being published it's how much I NEED other authors, those who understand how difficult it is to write out your soul, have it ripped apart, stitched back together into something pretty, then bound into paper just for you.

Photobombing Local Author Adrienne Monson

TRUTH IS - it is a difficult world regardless of how you've been published. Getting your name out and getting your book into readers hands can be agonizing, humbling work that stripes you down to your core. It's extremely hard for us authors to talk about our own books and why you would love it. We are basically taking our newborn baby, the wonderful thing we've created and asking YOU to take care of it, help it grow, show your friends, trusting YOU with its livelihood.

You READERS hold our fate in YOUR hands

What YOU think MATTERS

Meeting Jess Harnell at FanX 2015

Over the last few years Salt Lake Comic Con has become very important to us. It's become a place where we can find readers - OUR readers. You can find several LOCAL authors, some absolutely terrific people with tremendous talent. As a strong community of authors, we are banding together and uniting ourselves as REBELS, and we are looking for readers to join the alliance.

There are several things you can be a part of at this year's SLCC:

• Find the REBEL BASE #3441 - Enter to win a Chris Evans Photo OP bit.ly/chrisevans_slcc
• Find several local authors on PANELS - SLCC Schedule
• We've created a catalog with several titles in it, full of QR codes for easy look-up
• Hashtag fun with #slcc15writers
• A Treasure Hunt - search for the REBEL INSIGNIA among local authors to be entered for prizes
• Find several of the Rebel Alliance in AUTHOR AVENUE and SHADOW MOUNTAIN
  

Writing is not about us, it's always been about YOU - the reader. You are who matters most to us. It's you we are looking to inspire, you who we make worlds for.

Local authors SLCC 2014 Photo courtesy of Jessie's Photography

Come FIND us.
     Come JOIN us!

Faking Steampunk - The Sophomore Edition

Steampunk still baffles me.

It's not as weird as it used to be. I got a great education of it last year at the Salt City Steamfest. I learned this was not something that I could just go to in my usual Think Geek tee. This was COSPLAY hardcore. I quickly came up with a costume consisting of my lace-up boots, a Heidi top, and my black back brace turned around for a corset. 

These are the basics I could tell you from my novice experience:

• Steampunk is like fantastical alterna-history. 
• Cthulhu is king!
• Steampunk cosplay is epic and serious cosplayers live for the "IMMERSION" experience.



https://www.facebook.com/steampunkrockopera

• Boots BEFORE corset.

My first day at Steamfest I couldn't help but giggle while sitting in the bathroom stall listening to two girls, trying in their best British accents, complaining about walking the plank on a dirigible. I didn't know a time capsule like this existed. What a gem!

Our booth was not far from oodles of corsets. I thought I would try one on for the fun of it. It was hilarious and surprising that people would wear this hellish device. But after considering what I was doing, and knowing I had one more day of this immersion festival, I BOUGHT said corset and decided to wear it the next day. 

Things learned about corsets:

• Boots BEFORE corset. I was warned but didn't think about it until I tried to get on my boots. I couldn't bend over. An eye-opening experience that taught me a lot about WHY people had dressers in the 1800s. 
• Corsets were invented before cars. It was seriously difficult to drive a stick.
• Using the bathroom is NO JOKE! It's seriously hard. How do you even sit? I applaud every woman that knows the trick to this. 

This year I was by myself, no longer the Steampunk virgin, I knew what to expect and how to play it. I couldn't shy as I did before. Steampunk is something you have to dig into and commit. The more you commit, the better the outcome.

So, I searched through out my closet looking to dust off my corset . . . NOPE! Can't find it. I had to impress. This was important. Right? I start searching for anything that will work. I'm scraping of course, but I think I did okay.

Steampunk, I learned, is about characters. So, this is my character, "Darla Windratchet, my Diesel Punk Pin-up Girl."

From head to toe:

• Hat made from husband's old khaki's with Mockingjay pin for style
• ugly old army green shirt
• brown socks cut for gloves
• Big fat belt accompanied by Cat Woman Utility Belt
• volleyball shorts over tights OVER stretch pants (yes, I'm that self-conscious)
• My husband's hand-stitched field notebook pouch.
• Thrift store steampunk secretary shoes
• and mascara smears on my face like grease. 

A complete look. I felt very floozy-esque. I felt pretty proud of the costume.

Everyone else would be dressed up, I would blend in, nice and easy.

So, deep down, I was struggling bad. I was very uncomfortable, but tried to wear it well. I still blame the shoes, since I haven't worn heels since my wedding day.

Oh, and did I mention, I epic-ly tripped on the corner of 4th and Main, while getting honks by passing "sailors"?

While eating (IN COSTUME) with my fellow writers at P.F. Chang's, I stupidly decided to take off my Cat Woman Utility Belt while I ate my Lo Mein. And YES, as you would think, I had to walk back later to ask the wonderful waitress if they had FOUND a Cat Woman Utility Belt left be this lame girl.

I had several times people tell me, "I think there is something on your face," not knowing it was there on purpose. I had many think I was a rebel from District 13, referencing the Mockingjay pin in my hat. And when it came to the having my photo taken, I didn't even know what to do.

Needless to say, (though I will say it anyway) I DON'T STEAMPUNK. I failed yet again this year. And even though I feel proud of myself for wearing the heels the entire time, I still can't pull it off.

HOWEVER . . . That doesn't mean that it isn't COMPLETELY fascinating. It is really fun to watch others and interact with them and people watch like crazy. What a fun world (for them). Many who I know love this genre and play it up in epic steampunk fashion. I am mind-blown by some of the originality and creativity that goes into some of these costumes.

If you are curious about this strange world you have two really amazing opportunities.

Sept. 4th is the Gangrene Comedy Film Festival: FULL STEAM

At the Ed Kenley Amphitheater in Layton. Follow the link to know more.

There is also something SPECTACULAR happening at Salt Lake Comic Con this year. The profoundly talented Paul Genesse and his crew and putting on The Steampunk Rock Opera - an event you do not want to miss. Not only is it loaded with extremely talents actors and singers, several are friends: Callie Stoker, Scott Tarbet, Terra Luft - just name dropping here) but there will be audience participation. Ah! Who wouldn't want to do THAT? (besides, obvious... me, because I suck)

Please don't miss it. It will be groundbreaking and enormous fun.

FULL STEAM AHEAD!!!

Understanding Joy - A Deeper Meaning of Pixar's Inside Out

DISNEY PIXAR may have down their best work here with INSIDE OUT, and I'm not just talking about the stunning animation, brilliant cast, witty dialogue, or the John Kratzenberger cameo we all listen for. These are all things we have come to love about any Pixar movies, but Inside Out is something else, something more brilliant.

When the movie was over and I was still soaking in the visionary splendor I turned over to my 11 yr. old and asked her if she liked it. "Oh, sure mom, it was good."

Good? What do you mean GOOD? It was amazing! But then an idea hit me... "Mia, do you know what this story is about?"
She shrugged. "I don't know."

Typical 11 yr old. I mean, didn't we just watch HOW the 11 yr. old brain works?

"This movie is about understanding joy. To truly understand it you have to feel sadness in some form."

She smiled as if she understood what I meant . . . but she doesn't. And I tried as I could to explain how the movie made me feel, understanding the importance of memories and imagination.

As I was spilling out my own thoughts my beautiful 8 yr. old said to me, "Well, mom, I understand the movie. I'm a really smart girl."
"Of course you are, but you don't know what it's like to be 9."

Me, on the other hand, knows exactly what it's like to be 9 or 12 or 16 or 21. And every heartbreak and disappointment and emotional meltdown that comes from those years. That's one of the beautiful things about growing older, the trials that make us and define us and have molded us into who we are.

The Science of Thought  

In my 10th grade health class I once did a class presentation on Inner Voices and had my brother draw some seriously creepy illustrations of who these inner voices were and how we could cope and learn to live with them. It went over really well and I think it was the art that helped convey what I was talking about. Feelings or emotions are not specifically physical objects. As a visual learner I need to see something to understand it.

Disney Pixar took this gift of memory and conceptually engineered it into a tangible thing - a functioning machine. Seeing this visualized on screen opened up my own mysteries of collective thought. I felt like I was back in my college psych class learning about the different theories of psychosis. Believing and applying these psychological concepts paints a picture for us, so we don't have to wrap out brains around the deep hidden meaning of something that doesn't physically exist. The "Train of Thought", room of "Abstract Thought" and the "Subconscious" (where the scary clown lived) are just excellent representations of theory. But seeing it with my eyes connected the dots and made a picture for me to follow and understand.

My 11 yr. old came home and immediately started researching (she is a smarty pants) psychological theories on feelings and emotion, because she kept asking about feelings that were not represented there. We talked about different theories and I told her that not one is wrong, but should study and understand all of them, because each has something to offer. Disney Pixar did the best storytelling with five, that's good writing sense and character arc. For Disney Pixar to tackle such an out-of-the-box topic of feelings and behavior in children wrapped up in a beautifully animated movie is ground breaking.

CORE Memories

The message behind INSIDE OUT was not just "It's okay to be sad" or "Look for the positive in bad situations". What I connected to was "You have to feel SADNESS to UNDERSTAND JOY." This is a concept that several youngster do not know yet, because they haven't lived long enough to understand what a gift hindsight really is. Those are our Core Memories, the inner structure of who we are and how we got here.

Everyone has trials. Everyone goes through them. No one misses out on the things that test our strength or increase our knowledge. We all have a foundation in which we built on, becoming stronger with every trial that comes.

Getting personal now, this movie has made me reflect on my own core memory strength building - my own way that I learned to understand JOY.

Infertility is the hardest trial I have faced. It was a daily battle with myself. When the only thing you wanted in life was outright denied you. When others were overly blessed with children, I sat and watched and cried to myself and wondered - how is that fair?

We went through a cycle of Trying Not Trying, because every time we went through another infertility treatment I had to mentally prepare myself because of the emotional damage it caused, and every month thinking I was pregnant, absolutely - this is the one, this time it worked - to complete devastation that it didn't, I'm broken, I'm stupid for convincing myself that I was. This went on for six years.

Do I look on those years as a waste? No. Where they hard? Absolutely. Would I trade that experience? Not a chance! Many trials that define us are things that we wouldn't give up. We EARNED that badge. We earned that REWARD!

The Gift of Hindsight

This was a blessing not a curse. I could say the time prepared us, got through schooling, bought a home together, but that's not what I learned. I learned the VALUE of life, my OWN life, and a feeling of JOY that I couldn't understand until I looked at that little thing I created.

This is where the deep underlying message may get missed by the kids - they just haven't lived long enough to appreciate the blessings that come with trails. But what Pixar illustrated to theses kids is that trials will come and your feelings will learn how to deal with them. That is SO POWERFUL for them to understand. There is no easy fix when it comes to such core building problems, but the pain felt will add another brick to their foundation. You are stronger than you think you are. You can do hard things.

I wanted to thank Disney Pixar. Thank you for this beautiful example of how we function. It was pure magic imagining with you. And thank you for the insightful look at ourselves from the INSIDE OUT!